IFS Explained: That Inner Child Work Everyone’s Talking About

IFS: What If Every Part of You Had a Voice?

If you’ve spent any time on “therapy TikTok” or similar platforms, you’ve likely encountered the concept of “inner child work.” Through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS)—a therapeutic approach that, despite the word “family” in its name, focuses on individual healing—we can learn to befriend all of our internal parts, including our inner child. IFS is gaining popularity for its compassionate, non-pathologizing approach and is used to address a wide range of concerns, including anxiety, depression, trauma, and relationship struggles.

While IFS isn’t the only therapy that incorporates “parts work,” it may be the most direct. A core feature of IFS involves helping clients visualize, interact with, and extend compassion to their internal parts, with the support of a therapist. These parts are generally organized into three roles: managers, exiles, and firefighters. Managers work to keep life orderly and avoid emotional pain (think perfectionism or over-functioning). Exiles hold painful memories, emotions, and beliefs rooted in past experiences, such as shame, fear, or trauma. Firefighters act impulsively to distract from or suppress emotional distress through behaviors like overeating, dissociation, or even suicidal ideation.

These parts often conflict: what may look like self-sabotage from the outside is often a firefighter’s urgent effort to protect us in a moment of crisis, which in turn reinforces the exile’s sense of danger and prompts the manager to tighten control. This tug-of-war can make it hard to act in alignment with our values and contribute to cycles of feeling stuck.

IFS can be introduced gently in therapy, with clients learning to identify which part a particular thought or emotion is coming from. It can also involve deeper, guided explorations where parts are invited to take shape through their imagery, voice, personality, age, and perceived role. Early in the process, parts may show up as suspicious, withdrawn, or even hostile, signaling past experiences where they were not seen or respected. Shifts begin to happen as we draw on the qualities of the Self: the core, undamaged essence of a person marked by compassion, curiosity, calm, and confidence.

Healing unfolds as we listen to and understand each part, recognize how it’s been trying to protect us, and gently help it release burdens it no longer needs to carry, which in turn, can help us think, feel and behave differently. At its heart, IFS fosters deep self-compassion and empowers us to move toward wholeness, connection, and more intentional ways of being."

This article is written by Devin Nickell